Since last time ...

It has been quite a long time since the last time I wrote.

My last entry was on why I feel a calling to Deacon. After re-reading this entry, I have evaluated that it was more why I feel a call to ministry rather than that particular ministry.
I believe I may still be at some kind of internal "conflict" within me.

I have reflected with myself, and with someone who's opinion means a lot to me, and I have discovered that I think God may be pushing me toward Ministry of the Word rather than Deacon. Here is some of the indicators my friend pointed out:

• My passion for Church Unity and Solidarity
• The way I like to "play around" with liturgy
• My passion, deep commitment and sense of importance I have for the Sacraments and them being shared

I took what was said to me and reflected. I reflected on these three points that I hadn't really thought about before. They are definitely true. If I didn't have a passion for Church Unity/Solidarity (ecumenism) then I wouldn't be offering 6 months of my life at the CCA. It is true I love taking services and being involved in them so I can experiment and test out formal, contemporary, traditional, and alternative forms of liturgy. The sacraments comment probably made the most sense to me. This friend is the person I have told most of my feelings towards the sacraments and how empowering I find them.

So having had this conversation and reflecting time, I naturally have felt more inclined to reflecting more on MoW. After all, I have spent the last 2 or so years reflecting mostly on Deacon. I possibly need to confess that I have been quite stubborn when it has come to this. Just something within me, for no apparent reason, but up a wall to thinking about MoW. Maybe this was because I knew Deacon's were a minority in the UCA and I wanted to help change that? Maybe because the Minister at Ingleburn when I left was a Deacon and she helped me grow a lot in faith? What ever it was - I really don't know why I was doing it or even kidding myself. How could I possibly have DISCERNED in this PoD without being totally honest with myself and less stubborn? Well as least I have become to realise this now.

Hopefully, I will be enrolling in some Theology at CSU for 2010 - this should provide me with some further insight.

Until next time ~ Shalom!

a week in a distant land

I have been in Thailand for 1 week now. It feels much longer.

Because I do not know many people here, I have had a lot of time alone on my own - which is good in the way it has given me plenty of time to think and reflect on things. Having spent five days in Bangkok, I was able to see a completely different city. It is really busy and full of excitement.

Throughout my time so far I have encountered a bit of a conflict with my own self. I have spoken to two people about it and am awaiting for what the other has to say. For the purposes of this blog however I will not delve into what my internal conflict was exactly - it did however get me thinking further as to what it means to have this calling I believe I have. I was able (I think) for the first time write down exactly why I feel a call to Deacon.

When I've been reflecting on the ordinations I have seen parts from both that are "me". With MoW it is liturgy - im big on it and love experimenting with different types. I get passionate about the way we meet and the way we express our worship for God. With Deacon - it is my passion is the disadvantaged and those who are marginalised. Those who are looked down on sometimes. For me, When I think about the ordinations you feel a call to, I believe it is more of an identity thing and i would prefer being identified by others and God as a Deacon.

When it comes to liturgy I believe the main focus should be engaging liturgy and the biblical text with a focus on the call to serve and to move beyond 'church', and bringing the stories from 'out there' back into the church. Deacons can craft liturgy and worship entirely congruent with their call to serve and work alongside others, advocacy etc.

So I am thinking that this "definition" of my call is the one I am stuck on.

On The Road ...

In five days I shall be leaving the country for almost seven months!

In retrospect - this is a very exciting and encouraging thing for me. As I look deeper there is much more to consider (as well as being an exciting and encouraging time).

While over in Thailand I will be working with the CCA. What I exactly will be doing is a bit unclear - but this isn't entirely concerning me. If anything the mystery of the task I will be required to do is somewhat exhilarating.

I am excited about seeing Christianity in a context that is unknown to me. Being a predominantly Buddhist country (at something like 98%), I am fascinated in how Christianity has lived and grown in Thailand alongside Buddhism and Islam.

The way the CCA and CCT has received me so far (with out me having even arrived) has been very warm and encouraging. In a way, they have been excited at my excitement. Their excitement has excited me. It has been encouraging as it somewhat assures me that I will have an experience of a life time.

I am very interested in seeing how the churches in Thailand worship, however over time I know I will long for an English speaking service. Is this good or bad?

Good because I am longing for a type of worship that I understand.

Bad because I am resisting a culture somewhat.

I guess that only time shall tell.

The Summons ... in music?

Last night I attended Burwood UC evening congregation.

It was a really good service with a focus on following Jesus and taking up that invitation to "follow me".

The last song was "The Summons" and the lyrics and tune both touched me in some way (very rare for both to do this at the same time for me).

The Lyrics are:

Will you come and follow me if I but call your name?
Will you go where you don't know and never be the same?
Will you let my love be shown? Will you let my name be known,
will you let my life be grown in you and you in me?

Will you leave yourself behind if I but call your name?
Will you care for cruel and kind and never be the same?
Will you risk the hostile stare should your life attract or scare?
Will you let me answer prayer in you and you in me?

Will you let the blinded see if I but call your name?
Will you set the prisoners free and never be the same?
Will you kiss the leper clean and do such as this unseen,
and admit to what I mean in you and you in me?

Will you love the "you" you hide if I but call your name?
Will you quell the fear inside and never be the same?
Will you use the faith you've found to reshape the world around,
through my sight and touch and sound in you and you in me?

Lord your summons echoes true when you but call my name.
Let me turn and follow you and never be the same.
In Your company I'll go where Your love and footsteps show.
Thus I'll move and live and grow in you and you in me.

After reflecting on these lyrics, I have found deep meaning in the lyrics.

To me these lyrics are about the heart of the service we must provide in our Christian lives. As Christians we're called to live a life of worship, witness, and service. To me, Service is integral. By serving other as Christ did we are witnessing. By witnessing and serving we are performing an act of worship.

To me personally, this song is asking questions of me. I see it as sort of "testing" my call so to speak. I see the first four (4) as personal questions from God to me and the last verse as what my response is: "Lord you summons echoes true when you but call my name .... In your company i'll go where your love and footsteps show."

I will be writing some more reflections on songs that have spoken to me.

A new Synod?

I am currently sitting in a very relaxed styled Gloria Jeans on Pitt Street with Akon Hip Hop music playing in the back ground. While I would have absolutely no objection to being in Sydney just for the sake of it, I am (believe it or not) here for a reason.

Today there is a think tank meeting for all those people who are under 40 that have attended a synod meeting in the last 5 or so years. The aim of this meeting is to look at how we can do synod differently to gain an equal balance of business, worship, inspiration, and empowerment.

I shall write more later tonight ... :)

... more ?

We fleshed out some fairly good ideas and got to some good conclusions. I believe it was well thought out and planned.

Just a few changes we're going to make that i'll share about:

• Celebration of Ministry - will hopefully be on the friday night before Synod starts in the form of a ticketed feast with the jubilarians, retired ministers, and newly ordained be the guests of honours and share some stories from their ministry.
• Reporting - Will have restrictions to content (i.e: no reading report straight out), a certain % will have to be visual, interactive with members of synod, and will want the synod to acknowledge, reflect on ...etc on an issue or two.

Another part that some time was spent on - was how we worship at synod. And it was decided that a worship team be involved in that.

In love with the church?

I was talking to a friend of mine the other day. We were talking about politics as usual, but soon the conversation took a turn to religion and my being in the Uniting Church (as it normally does). He said that being more involved in the church had taken over my passion for politics and that the James he originally knew was out there doorknocking every day to get rid of a certain PM ;)

He more or less reckons the church has made me 'soft' so to speak. However, the most interesting (and valuable) comment he said was "...if you weren't so in love with the Uniting Church...."

My friends comment (that would be viewed as highly cynical by most) got me thinking. Am I in-love with the Uniting Church?

I decided to look first at what has kept me in the UCA and in the community of faith I have chosen to be apart of.

• I have a deep sense of belonging to the community of faith and in particular to Armidale UC.
• Even though the church can frustrate sometimes with its bureaucratic-like rules and procedures - I hold in because I believe that I can offer something to the Church of today to progress the vision for the church of tomorrow.
• Every now and then, there are things within the church that empower me. Things such as NCYC, SOD, 40 Hour Famine, Assembly, and KYCK has really energised me.
• I have that "feeling" that I just need to be in the church because of my sense of belonging and a "necessity" of my life to be in the church.

So, I have this sense of belonging and empowerment.

But why the Uniting Church....?

I have been involved in every Synod meeting since 2003 (I attended 2003 as a KinS person, afterwhich I have attended as a member). These Synod meetings (though at times really dry and boring) have allowed me be a part of the processes of the church. No other church would allow someone as young to do this.

The Uniting Church is, I think, the only church that places a freedom and emphasis on differing theology. The UCA actually promotes this difference. Radical Discipleship is fostered and those who partake in this are empowered with training such as School of Discipleship.

An indication that I may be in love with the UCA would be that I cannot really stand to hear a bad word about it from those who have never been involved in it. I know a few people who call the UC a "bunch of heretics" because of our views on woman clergy, homosexuality (although there is no official view), property etc.

But I think I can place the first time I knew I loved the UCA was when I first read the Basis of Union. I was 16 and was a month away from attending the 11th Assembly so I thought I had better read this document a lot of the "oldies" were going on about. After reading the document, I knew for sure that I would never leave the Uniting Church. The content of the BoU just filled me with a sense of pride.

What is my underlying sense of call?

Through out my journey I have considered many vocations and types of ministry. However, I am always drawn back and feel a pull towards specified ordained ministry. I feel I have gifts and graces that would make me a suitable candidate for this ministry.

I have a deep passion for the community and for those who are disadvantaged and are on the fringes of society. I feel a need to minister to people beyond the gathered congregation. I believe everyone needs to hear the gospel, but not everyone hears it in the same way (eg: the parable of the grains). Different people respond to the gospel in different ways. I believe it is about spiritually nourishing people in ways that make them feel moved and empowered (and indeed nourished). Some find this nourishment and encouragement within the walls of a church on a Sunday, through a sermon, hymns, bible readings, and conventional stylised prayers (not that all services are like that at all). Some find encouragement and nourishment through alternative forms of worship and deep reflection. However a lot of the population find that these "traditional" and "other" forms of church either a waste of time, scary, confronting, and irrelevant.

I believe that there are ways to minister to these people in ways that move them and change them. While visiting The Wayside Chapel I saw a perfect example of this. The Wayside offer a range of programs that physically show the love of Jesus to those how are in the minority of society.

I also have a passion for liturgy and worshipping within the gathered congregation as well. Every time I've led worship I have enjoyed it and grown somewhat from it. I enjoy "experimenting" with different forms of liturgy and exploring ways that we worship. A couple of weeks ago, Celie and I led a Sundays@7 night and did worship in the form of Drama. The prayers, bible reading, and message were presented in an engaging and theatrical way.

When I look at and write down my sense of call in this was it somewhat frustrates me that the Uniting Church has two (2) ordinations. However, from what I have discerned so far I think that I feel more of a push and calling towards the Ministry of Deacon.

Alternate Lord's Prayer

Parent God with likeness of both Mother and Father

May you and your name be respected and honoured by all.

Allow us to assist in bringing your kingdom,

love, and grace to everyone in the world.

Provide for us what we need,

and help us to use our resources wisely and graciously.

Forgive us when our hearts are closed to you,

and give us the courage to forgive others.

Save us from the things that challenge us and set us off the path,

and lead us into a life worthy of living for you.

For you are almighty, great, awesome, peaceful,

gracious, generous, courageous, and inclusive,

AND may your love endure forever!

AMEN

Some thoughts for further reflection

Acknowledgement: Rev. Dr. Anita Monro

Symbols are well and good, but what says “Christian”? In Acts 2:44-47, a description of the Christian community is given:

44All who believed were together and had all things in common; 45they would sell their possessions and goods and distribute the proceeds to all, as any had need. 46Day by day, as they spent much time together in the temple, they broke bread at home and ate their food with glad and generous hearts, 47praising God and having the goodwill of all the people. And day by day the Lord added to their number those who were being saved. (NRSV)

From this text, descriptions of the “Christian Life” have been drawn. These descriptions usually include at least 4 elements:
1. Leitourgia (liturgy – the work of the people – worship)
2. Koinonia (community)
3. Diakonia (service)
4. Kerygma (proclamation – witness)
The Basis of Union of the Uniting Church uses the phrase “worship, witness and service”. Where do you find each of these elements of the Christian Life in your life and in the life of our community. What says “Christian” about our community of faith today?

Taken from : http://mad-e-lena.blogspot.com/

further thoughts from Assembly

During Assembly I went to the morning service at Wayside Chapel in Kings Cross.

From the start, this service had a large sense of community and inclusion. The service, though quite informal, still had what I consider the important elements of a service. That being prayer, hearing from the word, proclaiming the word, and ofcourse music.

People from the Kings Cross community spoke during the service from their hearts about their own experiences. They spoke as though they felt they had to speak the praises of Wayside and of Rev. Graham Long. In a way it was as though they had to convince us in some way. Hearing what they said moved me. Hearing how this invaluable ministry has made their lives better almost moved me to tears.

Sitting during the service I really felt the spirit present. I felt like this was the type of thing that I wanted to do: share the gospel with those who are marginalised and disadvantaged in order to transform lives. I found that Wayside lives out the NSW/ACT Synod's vision statement: Moving with God, Transforming Communities.

I felt God affirming my call to Specified Ministry.

The Past Month ...

The past month has been very eventful for me.

Having been at Synod Standing Committee, then a bit of time at Mums and with some friends, catching up with some brother Masons in Sydney, School of Discipleship in Canberra, and then the National Assembly at UNSW - it has been a very busy time. But also a very reflective time.

School of Discipleship was a very meaningful time for me. Being my first sod i was not entirely sure of what to expect. I cannot say that I was dissapointed. Both the keynote speakers engage with me spiritually in a way I had not experienced in a while. One of the speakers called us to live in the life of exile as radical disciples. Other furthered on this radical discipleship by focussing around issues of social justice [I will be writing a further reflection on sod itself].

I had attended the 11th Assembly in Brisbane 3 years ago, and I do admit that this assembly in Sydney was quite different. It was also familiar - but felt different.

It was a very emotional assembly (as was the last one). The emotions were definitely all over the place. I felt so proud to be in the Uniting Church when we passed the changes to the Preamble. And the President put it very well when he said "I saw the true nature of this church yesterday afternoon ... when we were all on our knees".

The last month has also allowed me time to reflect further on my calling. I still do not doubt my calling to specified ministry. However I am keeping a much broader mind now than just focussing on ordination. After prayer and discernment, I feel I have been led by God to reflect on whether Ministry of Pastor would be an appropriate path for me to follow at this stage of my life. Also speaking to the Ministry of Pastor Consultant, I have felt called to taking this path and to apply. I will reflect on this further and speak to Anita about it at our next meeting.

My work with KUCA this term will take a bit of a change as I will try to develop it into a group that spiritually fosters and nurtures the kids that go there. It will aim to have a more devotional and reflective motive - but also being fun :)

reflection on ordination and ministry of Deacon.

This is mainly a reflection on why I feel a call to Ministry. Later on I will write another reflection as to the two ordinations.

I feel I need to work in the community but also to minister to those im working with (especially disadvantaged and marginalised people). Evangelising, and being WITH the people of God.

I draw most of my energy and Passion from Proverbs 31: 8-9.

WHY ORDAINED?

I know that baptism makes us all ministers and it is our jobs to worship god, bring witness to Christ, and to serve others just as Christ did. I also understand that certain people are set aside by the Holy Spirit to become ordained by prayer and laying on of hands. Ordination “places them [the ordinand] in a new relation to other people” (Basis of Union 3:6).

I have a passion for sharing the gospel, for the sacraments, and for pastoral care – for also for the community, those disadvantaged, and mission (Basis of Union 1992: 12 [a]).

“[Ordained ministers] have a particular responsibility to for word for the integrity of the body of Christ; the one holy catholic and apostolic church” (Brief Statement: 2).

WHY DEACON?

Deacons’ responsibility is for the church’s participation in God’s mission in and for the world – for ‘dispersing and reforming’ (Brief Statement).

This is the particular task I feel a strong calling to and I recognise God calling me to this particular ministry through my passions.

Intentions

My main intentions of this blog (one of many I have) is firstly to actually keep at it :)
I will be blogging my work as apart of my Period of Discernment. So it will probably be a large incentive in my mind to keep at it.

Should be good fun :D