Since last time ...

It has been quite a long time since the last time I wrote.

My last entry was on why I feel a calling to Deacon. After re-reading this entry, I have evaluated that it was more why I feel a call to ministry rather than that particular ministry.
I believe I may still be at some kind of internal "conflict" within me.

I have reflected with myself, and with someone who's opinion means a lot to me, and I have discovered that I think God may be pushing me toward Ministry of the Word rather than Deacon. Here is some of the indicators my friend pointed out:

• My passion for Church Unity and Solidarity
• The way I like to "play around" with liturgy
• My passion, deep commitment and sense of importance I have for the Sacraments and them being shared

I took what was said to me and reflected. I reflected on these three points that I hadn't really thought about before. They are definitely true. If I didn't have a passion for Church Unity/Solidarity (ecumenism) then I wouldn't be offering 6 months of my life at the CCA. It is true I love taking services and being involved in them so I can experiment and test out formal, contemporary, traditional, and alternative forms of liturgy. The sacraments comment probably made the most sense to me. This friend is the person I have told most of my feelings towards the sacraments and how empowering I find them.

So having had this conversation and reflecting time, I naturally have felt more inclined to reflecting more on MoW. After all, I have spent the last 2 or so years reflecting mostly on Deacon. I possibly need to confess that I have been quite stubborn when it has come to this. Just something within me, for no apparent reason, but up a wall to thinking about MoW. Maybe this was because I knew Deacon's were a minority in the UCA and I wanted to help change that? Maybe because the Minister at Ingleburn when I left was a Deacon and she helped me grow a lot in faith? What ever it was - I really don't know why I was doing it or even kidding myself. How could I possibly have DISCERNED in this PoD without being totally honest with myself and less stubborn? Well as least I have become to realise this now.

Hopefully, I will be enrolling in some Theology at CSU for 2010 - this should provide me with some further insight.

Until next time ~ Shalom!