a week in a distant land

I have been in Thailand for 1 week now. It feels much longer.

Because I do not know many people here, I have had a lot of time alone on my own - which is good in the way it has given me plenty of time to think and reflect on things. Having spent five days in Bangkok, I was able to see a completely different city. It is really busy and full of excitement.

Throughout my time so far I have encountered a bit of a conflict with my own self. I have spoken to two people about it and am awaiting for what the other has to say. For the purposes of this blog however I will not delve into what my internal conflict was exactly - it did however get me thinking further as to what it means to have this calling I believe I have. I was able (I think) for the first time write down exactly why I feel a call to Deacon.

When I've been reflecting on the ordinations I have seen parts from both that are "me". With MoW it is liturgy - im big on it and love experimenting with different types. I get passionate about the way we meet and the way we express our worship for God. With Deacon - it is my passion is the disadvantaged and those who are marginalised. Those who are looked down on sometimes. For me, When I think about the ordinations you feel a call to, I believe it is more of an identity thing and i would prefer being identified by others and God as a Deacon.

When it comes to liturgy I believe the main focus should be engaging liturgy and the biblical text with a focus on the call to serve and to move beyond 'church', and bringing the stories from 'out there' back into the church. Deacons can craft liturgy and worship entirely congruent with their call to serve and work alongside others, advocacy etc.

So I am thinking that this "definition" of my call is the one I am stuck on.